When Something Bad Happens, Just Tell Yourself: "I can't wait to see how this works out for me."

And literally turn any circumstance into a miracle.

I recently (flippantly, I’ll admit) commented on another person’s Substack note…and I keep getting likes and replies to it. I shared the principal I’ve lived by for over 20 years, without much thought. In fact for the first decade I didn’t even have words for it. I just kind of felt it and followed it.

The very first time I used this principle was during my own diagnosis:

I walked into the kitchen to find both parents sat in silence. Their heads hung, tears streaming down their faces. We had been testing all kinds of ailments and possibilities for six months, and they finally knew what was wrong with me.

No parent should have to tell their child they have cancer - and the last stage of that kind of cancer. That they don’t know yet what to do about it.

But I was not about to go through cancer - my cancer - powerless, the way they looked right now…

Being the youngest sibling, and the social outcast at school, I had never had any kind of authority, not even over myself. And here in front of me was a circumstance in which my entire body, my day, my whole life - if I survived - would be at the hands of everyone else. Doctors, my parents who would pay the hefty medical bills, nurses.

But the one thing I had complete control over was how I felt about it. How this experience would feel for me. My response to them was:

“Ok. Fine. We’ll do the treatment or the surgery. We’ll do whatever we have to do. But we’re not going to cry. We’re going to stick together, and come out better for it.”

It was the very first time that I took authority over my experience, while trusting the process completely. Knowing deep down, this would come to be one of the greatest and most empowering experiences of my life. And that it was; it opened me to the idea that my life, my happiness, who I am and how I live are completely up to me. No matter what the bullies at school had said or what my own limiting beliefs. Cancer showed me that this life is mine and only mine, and this short and precious time I have is all there is to choose my own mindset, my own path.

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Years later, a YouTuber was the one who put the principle into the clearest and shortest iteration I’d ever heard it. A version with even more ease and effortlessness.

“I can’t wait to see how this works out for me.”

• Whenever something horrible happens: I can’t wait to see how this actually leads to a miracle.

• Whenever things don’t go according to my plan: I can’t wait to see how this is actually a better option than what I thought I wanted to happen.